Overcoming Self-Doubt: Tips for Building Self-Esteem

Let’s get real for a moment—self-doubt can be a sneaky little thing, right? Whether you’re questioning your abilities at work, feeling insecure in relationships, or just doubting your worth in general, self-doubt can creep in and hold you back from living the full, confident life you deserve. But here’s the good news: you can absolutely overcome it. Building self-esteem is possible, and it starts with some intentional, positive steps.

If you’ve been struggling with self-doubt and feel like it’s holding you back in your personal or professional life, Nitalittlemore Coaching is here to help. We specialize in helping women break through self-doubt, build self-confidence, and reclaim their power. Ready to get started? Book a discovery call today, and let’s begin your journey toward greater self-esteem!

Now, let’s dive into some strategies to help you overcome self-doubt and start building the self-esteem you deserve.

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Recognize Negative Self-Talk and Challenge It

We all have that inner critic—you know, the voice that loves to remind you of your failures or convince you that you’re “not good enough.” One of the first steps to overcoming self-doubt is to recognize when that voice kicks in and challenge it. According to cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), a method proven to be effective in managing negative thoughts, identifying and reframing negative self-talk is crucial for boosting self-esteem (Beck, 1979). Let’s get into a few ways you can challenge negative self-talk. First, it’s good to identify the thought and notice when a negative thought pops into your mind. For example, “I’ll never be good enough for this promotion.” Next is to question the evidence and ask yourself, “Is this really true?” Most of the time, your inner critic is basing these thoughts on fear rather than facts. Lastly, reframe the thought and replace the negative thought with something more realistic and optimistic. For instance, “I’m learning every day, and I’m more than capable of succeeding in this role.”

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Celebrate Your Wins—Big and Small

One of the reasons we get stuck in self-doubt is that we focus too much on what we haven’t done rather than on what we have accomplished. Celebrating your achievements, no matter how small, is a great way to build self-esteem. Research suggests positive reinforcement and acknowledgment of accomplishments improve self-worth and motivation (Bandura, 1997). Keep a success journal and write down at least one thing you accomplished each day, no matter how small. Did you knock out that big project at work? Or maybe you just got through a tough day with a smile—write it down! Share your wins with friends and people who love you. Don’t be afraid to celebrate with those who support you. Sharing your achievements can reinforce your self-confidence.

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Set Realistic, Achievable Goals

Sometimes self-doubt comes from setting goals that feel overwhelming or unattainable. When you consistently set realistic goals, achieving them builds a sense of capability and accomplishment. According to Locke and Latham’s goal-setting theory (2002), setting clear, attainable goals leads to higher self-confidence and greater success. Start by breaking it down. If you have a big goal, break it into smaller, actionable steps. For example, if you want to improve your public speaking skills, start by presenting to a small group before aiming for larger audiences. Give yourself deadlines for each step to stay motivated and track your progress.

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Surround Yourself with Positive Influences

The people around you have a significant impact on your self-esteem. Surrounding yourself with supportive, positive people who believe in you can help counteract the negativity of self-doubt. Conversely, being around people who bring you down or criticize you can drain your confidence. A study by Lakey and Orehek (2011) suggests that social support plays a vital role in psychological well-being and self-esteem. The first step in building a support system is to connect with like-minded people. Whether through professional groups, hobbies, or fitness classes, seek out people who lift you up. It’s important to also let go of toxic relationships. If people in your life constantly criticize or undermine you, it may be time to distance yourself from them.

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Practice Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is about treating yourself with kindness and understanding, especially when you make mistakes. We’re often much harder on ourselves than we are on others. Practicing self-compassion can reduce self-doubt and increase resilience (Neff, 2003). An important action is to talk to yourself like a friend. When feeling down or doubting yourself, ask, “What would I say to my best friend if she were going through this?” Allow room for mistakes and remember that no one is perfect, and making mistakes is a part of learning and growing.

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Final Thoughts

Overcoming self-doubt is a process, but you can build the self-esteem you deserve with the right strategies. By challenging negative self-talk, celebrating your wins, setting realistic goals, and surrounding yourself with positive influences, you’ll be well on your way to a more confident, empowered you.

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Until next time, keep believing in yourself, keep growing, and keep shining! 🌟

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References

Bandura, A. (1997). *Self-efficacy: The exercise of control*. W.H. Freeman and Company.

Beck, A. T. (1979). *Cognitive therapy of depression*. Guilford Press.

Lakey, B., & Orehek, E. (2011). Relational regulation theory: A new approach to explain the link between perceived social support and mental health. *Psychological Review, 118*(3), 482-495.

Locke, E. A., & Latham, G. P. (2002). Building a practically useful theory of goal setting and task motivation. *American Psychologist, 57*(9), 705-717.

Neff, K. D. (2003). The development and validation of a scale to measure self-compassion. *Self and Identity, 2*(3), 223-250.